Healing Thoughts for Henry

Henry is the kitty of one of my dearest friends. I was there the day he was adopted. I adopted our Gustav the same day. Henry fell suddenly ill this week and it is not getting much better. I’m sure he would appreciate healing energy from all the cat lovers out there.

Get well soon, Mr. H.

Thought for the New Year

From the essay “Do Not Lose Heart”, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by persevering on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails….

We are needed, that is all we can know….

Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.  Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely.  It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good.  What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing…

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul.  Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times.  The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire.  To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both, are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.  Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.  If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

And, I believe, this is all we can do. What we can. Our best. Pushing ourselves to love when it is hard, to be kind, to try to be just, to speak up when we feel called. And to encourage each other in this, with understanding and strength.

On to 2009.

Much peace,
Elizabeth

Murray Seems Recovered

So, our little foster cat (likely to be permanent cat since really, who wants to adopt a cat with a history of an unknown neurological disorder that doesn’t like to be touched?) Murray has almost fully recovered from what we thought would be a terminal illness. You can read about his adventure here and here (and here) if you are so inclined. We took him to three doctors and no one had a very convincing explanation for what was happening. Except that it was neurological and it was getting worse. Poor little guy just laid in his little bed by the heater for over a month. But, we treated him with a homeopathic thing (which we were a little skeptical about – how could those three little tablets somehow heal a progressive neurological condition that was causing him not to be able to walk?). But, one week later, we noticed a marked improvement. Two months later he seems almost as good as new – maybe a little on the slow side but he was never the brightest bulb in the bunch. Although sometimes our alternative health vet seems a little just like “well, just keep and eye on [whatever cat is sick]” and just give them [fill in homeopathic remedy] thus far, we have fostered over 50 cats and kittens in five years and no one has died or had to have even a really expensive treatment. Phineas was the most expensive – he had to go to an eye specialist and other stuff for $500 (which, by the way, was covered by an animal loving reader of this blog!!!) and he ended up just fine and in a super loving home with only slight reduced vision. So three cheers for alternative medicine. Of course, can I prove that the homeopathic treatments work? No, but it does seem to correlate that within a week of the treatment the little cuddle monsters get better. For more information on alternative and complimentary veterinary medicine, please visit the American Holistic Veterinary Medicine Association,The Academy of Veterinary Homeopathy or The Academy of Veterinary Acupuncture. You can also find practitioners in your area on those sites.

Resources on Ministering to Someone Who is Chronically Ill

Regular readers, friends, and family know that I have struggled with chronic illness since I was in my early teens. Certainly, I am at a point in my life where my history with being sick and my current health doesn’t rule my life as it once did. Generally, I think I live a pretty normal life, perhaps with just a few more bumps in the road than a generally healthy person would face.

That said, I am still knocked over sometimes in realizing the difference it makes in one’s life to have been or be chronically ill. It gives you a new lens with which to see the world – in both a not-so-good way but also in some more positive ways. I realize that no matter how much better I get, I will bring that lens with me.

I was just reading the blog Journey to Somewhere which is written by a lovely woman about my age, who goes by the pen name Penguini, and who is in the congregation where I am the intern minister. I wanted to point it out because I am impressed with her ability to capture life as “a sick person” through her writing. I think for ministers, friends, or family who want to be there for someone who is struggling with chronic illness (or who has come through a chronic illness), Journey Toward Somewhere can be a helpful resource.

Journey to Somewhere also pointed to But You Don’t Look Sick, an online magazine “about living life to the fullest with any disability, invisible disease, or chronic pain.” In particular, Penguini pointed to an article on But You Don’t Look Sick called The Spoon Theory that I think deals well with helping friends and family better understand the day-to-day reality of chronic illness. Among other things, there is an article, 10 Tips for Visiting Someone Who is Sick, and there are also book reviews, and even a section called “sick humor” which is, of course, always important when facing illness. :)

Thanks to Penguini for her blog, writing, and, in general, her wonderful self. May all of those out there who are facing illness find healing, strength, and hope.

If you know of other good resources, please feel free to list them in the comments.

Check Out Well-Soul

I know some folks who read this are interested in holistic health and healing. I stumbled across http://well-soul.blogspot.com/ a few days ago and it seems like a really neat place to check out. It is written by a UU woman who struggled with chronic pain for years. She writes that

My healing came through some complementary medicine and a realization that I had to take the lead in healing myself. The doctors were never going to do it for me.

Her other blog is http://uusoul.blogspot.com/.

More on Chronic Illness

I just read this article in the New York Times which is just soooo not what someone who has been sick on and off for years wants to read. It is an article about somatization syndrome. I’ve never heard of it before now, but it seems to be a situation where someone has aches, pains, fatigue, dizziness, or other various symptoms for which doctors cannot find a medical explanation. So you know what? Then it becomes a psychiatric disorder. I googled this and there apparently are actually people who really do have this. That is, physical problems are caused very directly by psychiatric issues and the people need psychotherapy. All well and good. But for those of us who do not have a psychiatric disorder and something actually is causing our fatigue, stomach aches, head aches, decreased immune system functioning, or whatever symptoms there are, this gives doctors such an easy way to say it is all in the head and just get some therapy. Can’t figure it out? Just chalk it up to somatization syndrome.

This reminds me of my most recent doctor who suggested I meditate as a response to my health concerns. Maybe she secretly thought I had this. Ugg. Luckily, the first site that comes up when you google this is a site that helps reassure those with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromalgia (two very difficult to diagnose disorders that often interfere quite a bit with one’s every day life) that a doctor who is familiar with the various disorders will know how to differentiate between them. Of course, the problem is that many many doctors don’t know how to recognize or treat either CFS or Fibromalgia, along with 100s of other rare or complex problems that people live with for years because they are not correctly identified. Sigh. Sigh sigh.

While I’m certainly glad that people with somatization syndrome are able to be well-diagnosed and get treatment, I just hate to think about all the people who actually do have a non-psychiatric medical issue that are put in the “somatization syndrome” box. It is just so frustrating and sad that so many people suffer for years with medical issues that doctors cannot adequately recognize or treat because medical training and practice is so scientistic and regimented – so unholistic and so inattentive to the complexity of medical problems that don’t fit into any of the pre-established boxes.

Who Says You Can’t Publish Your Masters Thesis?

Nicole Sotelo, who was part of a small feminist group with me at HDS, and now works for Call to Action, published her masters thesis with Paulist Press. Isn’t that just wonderful!? I just found it randomly while doing another search.

Women Healing from Abuse: Meditations for Finding Peace

From The Service of Healing

Many thanks to all who participated in the FUUSM service of healing on April 23. The following is the poem read (and written) by Annie Giddings who spoke about her healing journey. You can read Annie’s Lyme Journal here and read her blog here.

I’m trying to tell you something about my life.
About how I struggle from day to day
To simply live.
About how I wish, hope, pray.
About how I yearn to rid myself of the pain.
About how this body is not mine,
Not me.
I am not this body.
I am simply contained within it.

I’m trying to tell you something about my essence.
About my true being.
About how I long to break free from this body,
From this vessel that has endured so much,
And be free.
Fly with the wind,
Laugh with the trees,
Dance with the eagle as it soars through the sky,
And be free.
Be free to be me.

I’m trying to tell you something about my soul.
About who I really am.
About the way I search for belonging,
For acceptance,
For where I belong,
For my place in this world.
About how I long to feel warm,
And safe,
And know who I am,
And know there is someone who knows me,
And loves me,
And will always love me.
Someone who will hold me in their arms when I cry,
And calm my fears,
And complete my soul,
My longing,
My belonging.

I’m trying to tell you something about love.
About how I long to look into someone’s eyes
And see myself reflected back.
To see myself through the eyes of love,
Someone else’s love for me,
Unconditional,
Unwavering.
About how I sometimes wonder if this exists,
If there is really someone out there
Who will look into my eyes
And see all the way to my soul.
And bring out of me all that is beautiful
And hidden
Deep within me.
About how I want to know that I’m complete,
Loved,
Happy,
And that I make someone else feel the same way.

I’m trying to tell you something about who I really am,
About my true being,
My core,
My center.
About how I am just energy,
Just light,
Pure and white and simple.
About how I radiate and shine.
About how few can really see me.
Few really know me.
Few have seen my light.
About how it is protected,
Deep within me.
About how I’m afraid that if I let it shine free,
It will be lost forever.
About how I long to let it shine free,
To let everyone see how beautiful it can be,
How beautiful I can be,
How free,
How real,
How pure and good.

I’m trying to tell you something about my life.
About how this body is not mine,
Not me.
I am not this body.
I am simply contained within it.
–October 17, 2003

Preparing for A Service of Healing

So on April 23rd I’ll lead “A Service of Healing” at FUUSM. For some reason, this has excited me more than I thought it would. Maybe excited isn’t the right word — perhaps it has perked up my ministerial aspirations? It has just led me to really put my heart and soul into it. I just feel like there is such a need for healing — for making ourselves whole. I almost wrote “whole again,” but I’m not sure we are whole to begin with. Nothing to do with original sin or anything like that, rather, I don’t think we are born into a world where we can ever be truly whole – we are always already in a world of brokenness, pain, and suffering and it is only our journey of life where we can seek wholeness and healing together in community. It is a journey of wholeness, not a destination. In preparing for this service, I am reminded of those that would criticize UUs for not engaging congregants’ emotions (enough) in worship services or in church life in general. While I think that this can be overdone in any context, and I have seen it wwwaaay overdone in Christian contexts, I agree that perhaps UUs have over-intellectualized and over-emphasized political action at the expense of engaging people’s need for affective spirituality. Of course, I’ve also complained of UUs as being too focused on their own spiritual paths and being all about “feeling better” or “feeling good” rather than making the difficult decisions that need to be made in order to bring about the just world that we envision. So I guess, like all religions, we are always working on this balance. I certainly include myself in this.

UU minster Rev. Dr. Thandeka writes a lot about this, as does Michael Durall in The Almost Church (you can get this here at the UUA bookstore), although I’m not sure I’m sold on either of their positions 100%. Certainly, I have learned a lot from reading both of them and hearing Thandeka speak. She is a visiting lecturer at HDS this semester. She recommends Rick Warren’s very popular book The Purpose-Driven Church in terms of thinking about the way that Unitarian Universalism can better address the needs of more people. She argues that a key reason why Unitarian Universalism lags in numbers and influence and why evangelical and/or fundamentalist churches are bursting at the seams is because they have managed to address the affective needs of people whereas UUs ask people to join committees before we ask them what they need for their own lives and own healing. Thus, I’m thinking about how to invite our congregation and, more broadly, lots of other people who are not in our congregations, into a space of healing while also not turning UUism into a self-centered feel-good fest that is all about making “me” feel better.

One final depressing note is that I heard on NPR that there are over 150,000 people on the East Coast who are members of curling teams. You can read about the sport here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curling. Apparently the winter Olympics helped curling to pick up popularity and it is booming. I’m sorry, but please tell me that Unitarian Universalism can beat curling in terms of appeal and numbers. And I know curling teams do not have healing services. Could it be because the “rules” are more defined? Something to think about as I’m off to bed. Easter is in the morning!